


Working Around the Truth

by ivysea



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:46:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22898974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivysea/pseuds/ivysea
Summary: “Jesus, Stevie, that’s one big mark.” Bucky said, taking in the geometric pattern that was spreading across his friend’s chest.////When Tony looked down, he froze. It was huge. Far larger than any other mark he’d seen before....“This is too big!” He wailed, looking to Jarvis for help. “There must be a way to shrink it down a little.”////“Did you know?” He asked sharply, searching Steve’s eyes intently. Steve didn’t know what to say. What could he say? Before he had the chance to speak, Tony jumped in again. “Holy shit. You knew! You knew this whole fucking time! And you never said anything at all.”Everyone gets a soul mark, that's just how things work. Steve just wasn't expecting his match to be one Tony Stark, so he obviously keeps his mouth shut and doesn't tell the other man. When Tony finds out about Steve's 'little' secret, he's livid.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 6
Kudos: 190





	Working Around the Truth

**Author's Note:**

> Not totally canon compliant! But kind of! This is just a little something that wouldn't leave my head so here you go

It was July 3, 1932 and Steve Rogers absolutely, under no circumstances, could sleep. The following day was his birthday and within the next few hours he would get his mark. It happened to everyone, but he couldn’t fight the nervous churning in his stomach. What if it hurt? Or worse, what if he didn’t get a mark? The anxiety of the whole process was eating away at the skinny boy.

“Stevie, you gotta stop pacing. I need sleep.” Bucky groaned from his place in Steve’s bed, tossing a pillow in his general direction.

“I can’t! You know I can’t!” Steve exclaimed, tossing the pillow back onto the small bed. His hands were shaking as he began pacing again. It would happen any minute now, he was sure of it. Bucky had gotten his mark the year before, a delicate star symbol on his left shoulder. Steve had burned with jealousy as Bucky wailed in pain when the mark was etching itself onto his skin. Honestly, the jealousy had been present every day since. He wasn’t jealous of the thought of someone else loving Bucky and joining their two-man team, he was fine with that. It was bound to happen, Bucky was amazing, after all. He was just jealous that Bucky had someone. A perfect match. His mother had never gotten a mark, instead choosing to marry an unmarked man rather than remain alone like many of others did. Steve Rogers was beyond terrified that, like them, his skin wouldn’t bear a mark either.

As he turned to voice this concern to his best friend, his chest began to burn. Badly. He clawed at his threadbare shirt, trying to alleviate the pain. “Jesus Christ! Buck!” He exclaimed, feeling a pain deep in his chest. “I think I'm having a heart attack!”

Bucky was at his side before he knew it, easing him down onto the bed. “Take off your shirt. Maybe it’s your mark! Mine didn’t hurt nearly at all, but maybe yours is a little bigger.” Bucky reasoned, helping his friend tug off his shirt so they could get a glimpse of his bony chest.

There, near the center of his chest, dark red lines were bleeding up from under his skin. “Oh my god!” He breathed, reaching a shaking hand up to touch the lines as they began to raise.

“Jesus, Stevie, that’s one big mark.” Bucky said, taking in the geometric pattern that was spreading across his friend’s chest.

By the time the sun rose, Steve Rogers was the proud owner of a soul mark. He had never seen a mark this large before. It spread across the small expanse of his chest, slightly offset, with the center covering his heart.

\--

Years later, when he awoke from the “procedure” that made him Captain America, the first thing he reached for was his mark. After years of having the raised lines across his chest, they had become a sort of comfort to him. No matter what was raging on outside, he knew there was someone out there with the same marks waiting to meet him. Panic arose in his throat as he felt for the raised lines. The doctors must have noticed his fear because a voice to his left explained that it was still there, but the lines weren’t raised. He wouldn’t have any scars anymore, including his mark. The only thing left that tied him to his other half were faint red lines.

\--

When he met Peggy, he felt so giddy. Sure, everyone he’d ever known had said that their lines had burned in the presence of their match, but the doctors had warned him of weakened sensation due to the altered form. Maybe this was enough, light butterflies in his stomach. He was fairly certain that she was his match. Later, he became more certain when he caught a glimpse of a raised line peeking from the collar of her blouse. He’d never seen someone with a mark over their heart like his before. He asked her if she wanted to go out the following night, of course he did. She was his soulmate for crying out loud!

\--

“Stevie, you have to relax!” Bucky laughed as he prepped Steve for his night out with Miss Carter. Steve had been jittering about the camp all day in anticipation.

“I can’t, Buck! I think she’s the one!” Steve replied, combing his hair for the thirtieth time. Bucky just rolled his eyes. “Wish we could all be so lucky.”

Steve’s heart sank. Bucky still hadn’t met his match, no matter how much effort he put into her. He wasn’t the only one on the hunt for his match. Many of the Commandos had allowed their marks to be photographed for some article, hoping their lady would see it and send them a letter. Apparently, their celebrity status had caused the magazines to sell out within hours. The strategy had worked for some, but not Steve or Bucky, who were left with no matches, not a single prospective soulmate in all of America. But now, Steve found his girl and Bucky was still alone.

“We’ll find your dame Buck! Maybe she just doesn’t read the papers.” Steve tried to interject.

“Maybe she doesn’t exist. And that’s okay! I can find someone. There’s plenty of people who don’t have a match. Ya know?” Bucky said, turning away from Steve. Steve knew he was trying to hide his disappointment; Bucky was always hiding things to keep him happy.

Steve’s heart sank. He used to wish that he was Bucky’s match, that way they wouldn’t ever have to leave each other. But Buck loved dames, probably a lot more than Steve did. He wasn’t gay, no. That was a dangerous claim to make. He was just picky. The only one he liked was Peggy. And that was okay with him.

“Yeah, Buck. But don’t worry, you’re stuck with me ‘til the end.” He said, ruffling his friend’s hair.

\--

Steve never went out with Agent Carter. They’d found another HYDRA base to strike before that and then he’d lost Bucky. And there was battle after battle. Before he knew it, he was facing death like it was any other competitor. He looked it right in the eyes, reached up to trace his mark—Peggy's face flashing into his mind—and then he crashed into the ice. Before everything faded, his heart broke for his soulmate, wherever she was.

…..............................................

When Tony Stark turned 16, his chest lit up from within. The burning was so intense that he forced Jarvis to call a doctor to the house, just in case.

“I’m having a heart attack!” He wailed, clawing at his chest and collapsing onto his bed. From the doorway, Jarvis smiled. “This is not a joke! I am actively dying!”

“I’m afraid you’ll live to see another day after all, Mister Stark. It’s your sixteenth birthday.” He said, coming into the room with the doctor.

“What the hell does that mean?” Tony shot back. “I think I know what this feels like J. And I’ll tell you right now that it’s a whole heart attack.” His frustration momentarily overshadowed his pain as laughter filled the room. “What?” He snapped.

“It’s just your mark, Tony. Nothing more.” The doctor explained, chuckling as he pointed to Tony’s bare chest.

When Tony looked down, he froze. It was huge. Far larger than any other mark he’d seen before. His school friends had gotten their marks years before, as he had skipped a few grades. They had tiny designs on their arms or legs mostly. He’d never seen something so large before. The red lines bled across his chest, creating a circle with lines crisscrossing throughout it. It was intense, to say the least.

“This is too big!” He wailed, looking to Jarvis for help. “There must be a way to shrink it down a little.”

“We can’t just edit soul marks, Mr. Stark.” He chided. Tony had always had a complex of sorts, wanting to control every aspect of his own life. This mark went against every fiber of his being. He didn’t ask for this. His skin was marred and unrecognizable, raised red lines replacing his once smooth chest. What if he never found his soulmate and he was stuck with this eyesore?

“Oh, my dear, congratulations.” A soft voice said, announcing the presence of Tony’s mother. He looked up at her in awe, she never visited his room. She was often locked away in her wing of the house, sedated with different concoctions from the cacophony of doctors that swept in and out of her quarters.

“Mother, why is it so big?” He whimpered.

“You’ll see one day. You’ll be so happy, baby. You’ll see” She said, perching on the edge of his bed and taking her son’s hand gently. There was something sad in her eyes, despite her words of comfort.

\--

Later that night, once it appeared Tony had fallen asleep again, she slipped from his room. He wished she would stay, she never stayed with him and he missed her terribly. With a heavy heart, he tossed and turned, trying to clear his mind. After what felt like hours, Tony climbed out of his bed in search of a distraction. On his way to his makeshift “lab”, he noticed light coming from the kitchen. Maybe Jarvis was awake and could be persuaded into making him a cup of tea (or something stronger considering how much pain he’d been forced to endure that night). As he went to poke his head into the kitchen, he caught hushed voices.

“Never tell him.” His mother commanded, sounding more alert than she had in years. “He can never know. It will devastate him, my poor baby.”

“I wouldn’t dare.” Jarvis said sadly. “I’ve already alerted Howard and he claims to be taking care of things—getting rid of any evidence he might find.”

“Thank you.” Maria murmured as she swept towards the door. Tony ducked behind a potted plant, hoping he had not been discovered by the two. His mother walked past him, wiping tears from her cheeks as she returned to her quarters.

\--

Tony never figured out what his mother had hidden from him that night. And within the next few years, she was dead. Both his parents were. At only 17 years old, Tony Stark was an orphan. They had died in a car accident, caused by his drunk of a father, no doubt. Tony spiraled for months, years even. Then, he met Rhodey and later they met Pepper, who worked tirelessly to pull him together and help him handle the company and everything that came with it.

He wished Pepper was his match. Sure, he didn’t get tingly or anything when she was near, but she was beyond perfect. She kept him on track and made sure he was okay without smothering him. He wanted her to be his soulmate so badly, maybe then the mark would be worth it.

One night, after one too many drinks, he kissed her. After only a few seconds, she pulled away. “Tony,” She said, staring at him. “We can’t.” She turned her hand over and removed her silver cuff bracelet that he had bought her on one of their business trips in France. There, on her dainty wrist, was a blue swirl.

“Mother fucker.” Tony swore. Getting up from his place on the sofa.

“Tony” She said, voice saturated with unspoken apologies.

He stopped at the exit to the room, turning to face his friend once more. “Listen, Pep, I wanted it to be you. I needed it to be you. There’s no one else for me.”

“Yes, there is. There’s someone out there wearing the same mark as you and counting down the seconds until they get to know you.” She comforted, approaching him slowly.

“What if they hate me?” He asked. Tony had never had much luck with people. His own parents couldn’t stand to be around him for very long. He had two friends who were driven up the wall and back down by his antics constantly. And lastly, he was very, very single. People had a hard time connecting with the genius, for obvious reasons.

“How could they? You’re brilliant, and handsome, and incredibly funny.” Pepper smiled, resting a soft hand on his cheek.

“I wish it was you.”

“I know, Tony. I wish it could’ve been me too. But it’s not me for you and it’s not you for me. And that’s okay; we’ll be okay.”

Tony’s heart sank. Despite her best efforts, Pepper couldn’t chase away his fears.

\--

After that, Pepper found her match, and she continued to work by Tony’s side, never to become anything more. His weapons business was thriving, and he was quickly skyrocketing to stardom. With his fame came a new wave of hope for finding his soulmate. He often allowed magazines to publish pictures of the mark that took up most of his chest, hoping some stranger would catch a glimpse and realize he was waiting for them. He needed them. And yet, no one ever came forward as his perfect match.

\--

After Afghanistan, his mark was destroyed, marred by scars and interrupted completely by the arc reactor. At first, it didn’t matter, but as everyone around him found their matches, he was devastated by the loss of his mark that could’ve tied him to someone. What if they didn’t want him anymore because of the damage? Would that effect their bond?

According to his doctors that examined him after his return, his bond would be weaker than usual at first. The altered state of his chest would affect the immediate reaction, but not the overall connection between him and his soulmate. If he ever found them, that is.

\--

Years passed. No soulmate. One day, as he was patching up one of his suits, Jarvis announced an incoming call. Nick Fury.

“Stark, we need you. Now”

“Woah, buddy. No ‘how are ya?’ or ‘long time no talk’ maybe? I was expecting more.” Tony replied, continuing to work on his suit.

“Get here. Now. I’ll send JARVIS the location”

“What?” Tony was already annoyed and leaving his newest suit unfinished didn’t help his mood. Why couldn’t they just leave him alone? His soulmate didn’t seem to have a problem doing it.

Before he could snap back at Fury, the call ended.

According to the information relayed by JARVIS, he was to help a newly thawed Captain America save New York—or maybe the world. It was all just semantics, he supposed.

…..............................................

When Steve first saw Tony Stark, he didn’t know how to react. The inventor was cocky and brazen, sweeping into the room like he owned it and infuriating Steve in the process. On the other hand, he couldn’t help but feel a swell in his chest at the sight of Tony, something he hadn’t felt since Peggy, but stronger. He pushed it away quickly. Captain America could not like men like that.

Later, Steve would find himself directing a SHIELD agent to get him all the information they had on Stark. For research purposes of course. As he was assisted in scrolling through articles and pictures and video interviews on a tablet, he noticed an odd photograph. It had to have been years ago, when Stark was far younger. College, maybe? He was tiny, perched on a leather sofa and looking into the camera with huge, puppy-dog eyes.

“He used to do advertisements, before he had to man the company.” The agent chipped in, noticing his gaze. “He was cute, right?” She asked.

He was. But that wasn’t what caused Steve to freeze. In the photo, Tony Stark was shirtless. Steve had seen plenty of shirtless men, he was in the army for God’s sake. Regardless, this was shocking because on Tony’s chest, spread across the tan expanse were red lines. Not just any red lines either. They were raised and specifically patterned in a shape that Steve had only seen on one other person. Himself.

“Captain?”

No. No, Steve didn’t even like men like that. How could his soulmate be a man? An obnoxious one at that? Not possible. Sure, he’d always loved drawing men. And yeah, maybe he’d once or twice wished Bucky was in love with him. And so what if he didn’t really like dames the way the other soldiers had? It didn’t mean his soulmate had to be a man. Tony Stark, at that. What would people think of him?

The agent cleared her throat.

“Sorry, um, I was just thinking. Do you know what that mark is?” Steve asked, feigning innocence. Maybe Stark had already found his match and Steve was just seeing things. It couldn’t be his mark upon the other man’s chest. They weren’t even born in the same time period! It just wasn’t possible.

“It’s his soul mark. Huge, isn’t it? He used to show it off all the time. But after being held hostage he started covering it. We think it might’ve been totally destroyed by the reactor. It’s sad, really. Poor thing never found his soulmate and now he doesn’t have the mark to match them.” The agent said, looking solemn at the end of the statement.

Shit. Steve’s heart was pounding. “Does it change anything? If his mark is completely damaged?” Steve asked. Maybe it cancelled things out. Maybe he didn’t have to worry about this. His mark was already faded after all.

“Not really. I mean, some say it weakens the initial bond. But over time, the bond will grow to its normal strength.”

“Interesting. Well, I think that’s enough Stark for me for one day.” He said, trying to keep his voice light. He had to find Tony. Maybe there was a simple explanation for all of this. His heart was racing. Why did this have to happen to him?

\--

Somehow, things had spiraled out of control and he never got the chance to talk to the other man. Before he knew it, Steve was fighting side by side with Tony Stark. Of course, during battle Stark was clad in his iron suit, but Steve couldn’t help but want to remain at his side—just in case. He didn’t like Tony, not by a long shot, and the inventor clearly didn’t appreciate his company either. Yet, they ended up together on the battlefield constantly.

After a while, it became habit for Steve to seek Tony out in the field, covering his back any chance he got. Sometimes, he considered approaching Tony off the battlefield. It couldn’t hurt to get to know him a little better. For team purposes, of course. Steve was still hoping the soulmate part of things could be avoided. There was no way they would work as a pair. Stark was brazen and cocky and infuriating. And Steve was, in his own opinion, a gentleman. And to make matters worse, Tony didn’t seem to like him at all.

…..............................................

If Tony Stark knew anything it was that good things never lasted for him. Over the past months, he had built a tentative friendship with his teammates, inviting them to stay in his tower and interacting with them daily. For the most part, he didn’t mind the company. And Pepper loved that he had people around constantly, convinced it would force him to take care of himself when she was away. He knew it wouldn’t last, and that’s why he chose to lock himself away in his lab. If he avoided human connection, he wouldn’t be disappointed when they decided he wasn’t all that great to be around. Pepper was not impressed, to say the least.

“Listen, I’ll tell them about the rule if you can’t follow it by yourself.” Pepper said, perching on the couch in the lab as Tony tinkered with one of Natasha’s knives. She was in the middle of explaining, for the thousandth time, her rule about Tony eating at least two meals a day and leaving the lab to sleep at for at least 5 hours.

“You wouldn’t dare, Potts.” He said, turning to face his friend, who unfortunately appeared to be serious.

She rolled her eyes at him. “Three days is too long! You have to take care of yourself and I swear to God I’ll bring Steve into it.”

“Oh God,” Tony groaned. “Not Mr. Self Righteous. I’ll never get anything done if he’s looking over my shoulder all day Pep!”

As Tony flopped onto the couch next to her, she laughed and relaxed back into her seat. “He’s really not bad! Sure, he’s a bit behind the times, but he’s a great conversationalist. And he draws too!”

“Are you trying to get me to take care of myself or are you trying to set me up with a guy who hates me?”

“He doesn’t hate you!” Pepper defended, sounding a bit unsure. Tony knew Steve hated him. Sure, they hung out when the team was around, but when they were alone Steve would clear out instantly. Not that it bothered Tony, okay, maybe a little, but he just didn’t get it. Every time Steve came around, he felt drawn to him. Clearly Rogers did not feel the same, he just didn’t understand why.

“I’d love to see you try to get Steve Rogers to make sure I’m following your rule. The guy won’t get within 15 feet of me if there’s no one around to buffer!”

Pepper had just laughed and asked him about the deal they were trying to cut with a company in Sweden, distracting Tony from the pang in his chest as he thought about how Steve wanted nothing to do with him. He couldn’t figure out why it mattered so much to him. Sure, Steve was attractive—practically an Adonis—but he’d had silly crushes before, and they never left him feeling so torn up about little things like this.

\--

By the time Pepper left, giving him a warning look when he said he was ‘almost done’ with his project, he had all but forgotten about their talk of the Captain. That is, until said man came knocking at the door to his workshop. “Let him in J.” Tony said from his place at his work bench.

Steve stepped in awkwardly, taking in the scene before him carefully.

“I’m not going to kill you Rogers. It’s a workshop not a torture chamber.” Tony said, glancing up at the stoic man.

“I- uh—I brought you something.” Steve stumbled, awkwardly presenting a plate with a sandwich and some fruit. “Figured you had water or something down here already.” He shrugged.

“Did Pepper send you?”

“She seemed worried about you.”

Tony chuckled. Of course she did. “She’s always worried about me. Doesn’t really love the ‘mad scientist’ thing I’ve got going on.”

Steve’s lips quirked up in a wry smile. Tony felt like his heart was stuttering. “Anyway, here’s this. I’ll be back in a couple hours to make sure you get to bed.” Steve said, turning swiftly to leave the room.

“Rogers?”

He paused, turning to face Tony. All of the sudden, Tony couldn’t breathe. Jesus Christ, what was going on with him? He’d never acted like this before, not even with Pepper. If he didn’t know any better, he would’ve thought Steve was his soulmate or something. He didn’t have a soulmate though. He couldn’t, not after Afghanistan and the reactor. His mark was basically gone and regardless, Steve Rogers was absolutely straight and absolutely not interested in Tony Stark.

“You can stay. If you want, I mean. There’s plenty of space and Pep hates when I’m alone for too long.” He rambled, waving his arms about the room awkwardly and shoving his thoughts away.

Steve nodded slowly. “Yeah. Okay, Stark. I’ll stay for a while. I could use some quiet.”

…..............................................

After that first afternoon in the lab, it became a habit of sorts. Steve would come down with snacks and whatnot and lounge on the couch while Tony worked. Sometimes they would talk, but most of the time Steve would sketch different things in his notebook while Tony tinkered.

By the third month of their little hangout sessions, Steve couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. On days that he didn’t see Tony, he felt like something was missing. Of course, he didn’t love him or anything. He couldn’t. Sure, he may ‘like’ guys, but not Tony. If he confessed everything now, it would ruin everything they had. He couldn’t love his beautiful eyes, and his hands that were marred with tiny scars and burns, and his soft hair, and his arms, and legs, and t-shirts, and--

Steve lost his train of thought as Tony came over and stole a grape out of the bowl of fruit on his lap. “Get your own, Stark.” He laughed.

“Get your own lab then, Cap.” Tony shot back, smiling.

And his smile. Jesus Christ, Steve was so far gone. “Maybe I will.”

“Oh, you hear that J? Steve here is gonna build his own lab.” Tony laughed tossing a grape at Steve’s chest.

“Don’t start that game, I promise I’ll win.” Steve warned with a grin, grabbing for another piece of fruit and hurling it at Tony.

Minutes later, they were covered in the remains of various fruit and laughing. Steve had Tony pinned against the wall, moving to smash the last strawberry slice onto his cheek. “Bad idea, Cap! Do you know what it takes to have skin that looks this flawless?” Tony teased.

“And here I thought you looked like this without trying. I guess I was expecting too much.” Steve joked, feigning disappointment.

Tony guffawed. “Oh, you dick!”

Steve just shrugged and pressed the slice to Tony’s cheek, laughing when it stuck momentarily and then fell to the floor. Then, it was just two men pressed together against the wall. Steve could feel Tony’s heart pounding against him. He was sure his own heart was beating just as fast, if not faster. His blood was roaring in his ears. He’d never been this close to another man before. More importantly, he’d never been this close to his soulmate before.

“Steve” Tony whispered, moving a fraction of an inch closer. Steve didn’t know what to do. It was so wrong, but it felt too right to be there, pressing close to the smaller man.

Before he could protest, as if he actually would, Tony had leaned up slightly and closed the gap between their lips. When their lips met, Steve felt a sort of ‘click’ in his heart, maybe even his soul, and it was as if all of the emotions he had been avoiding came crashing down at once. Was this what soulmates felt like? Was this the bond that was missing at first?

He tugged Tony even closer, trying to avoid his wild thoughts and focus on the beautiful man in front of him. Tony gasped into his mouth as his hands slipped lower, finding the hem of Tony’s t-shirt and slipping under, hands meeting warm, smooth skin. Tony’s rough hands scrabbled at the front of Steve’s shirt, trying to tug it off.

“Couch” Tony gasped between kisses, trying to steer the larger man towards the inviting cushions. As they made their way over, Steve sat, pulling tony onto his lap and grasping at the hair on the nape of his neck. This was nothing like any kiss he’d ever had. Sure, he didn’t have much experience, but it wasn’t his first time kissing someone. But this, this was far better.

Steve tugged Tony’s shirt over his head, peppering kisses across his skin before moving back to his lips and letting his hands explore the other man’s chest. His fingers moved to the reactor, noticing the way Tony’s skin raised slightly where scars had been left. He traced each one, listening to the way Tony’s breath hitched slightly.

He paused, looking at the other man, “Is this okay?”

Tony nodded eagerly. “Yes. Yeah. It’s good. Just haven’t been touched there since--” He trailed off, kissing Steve again. Steve wanted to break away and look at Tony’s chest, examine what little of the mark was still there. But that would give it all away. Tony would know that something was up and the moment would be ruined. Steve settled for tracing the raised skin with his fingertips, feeling for the circular outline of the red mark that he shared with Tony.

Tony broke the kiss again, peppering kisses down Steve’s neck instead. Leaving marks that would fade within minutes due to the serum. He grasped the hem of Steve’s shirt and tugged it up. “Off. Want this off.” He said, tracing Steve’s abs with his hands as Steve quickly tore off his white tee, forgetting about the light red lines that it had been hiding.

At first, it seemed like Tony wouldn’t notice at all. Then, his kisses trailed from Steve’s lips to his neck, tearing a moan from the blonde man. Taking the encouragement, Tony’s kisses trailed down further. That was when Steve’s blood ran cold as he realized what Tony would see should he open his eyes. Steve froze, hands ceasing their movements on Tony’s back. Slowly, Tony’s pulled back, opening his brown eyes and staring at Steve.

“I’m sorry, was that too much? I don’t know how much you’ve done with a guy before. I just couldn’t resist I guess--” He began, trailing off as his eyes quickly moved over Steve’s chest. “Wait. Just a fucking minute.” He said, leaning back to take in the faded lines.

Steve knew that guilt would be painted all over his face by this point. He should’ve told Tony before. Now, he looked like a fucking creep, sneaking around with someone’s mark on him and not saying anything. He met Tony’s angry eyes slowly, trying, and failing, to think of something to say.

“It’s not what it looks like.” He says, bringing a large palm up to cover the mark. Tony clambers off his lap quickly, leaving him vulnerable to the cold seeping into his bones as the weight of his mistake sunk in.

“Did you know?” He asked sharply, searching Steve’s eyes intently. Steve didn’t know what to say. What could he say? Before he had the chance to speak, Tony jumped in again. “Holy shit. You knew! You knew this whole fucking time! And you never said anything at all.”

“Tony,” Steve tried to interrupt again. Heart sinking as he realized he’d finally slipped off the edge he’d been walking on for months now.

“You were just going to let me live my life thinking I didn’t have anyone!” Tony roared. “I thought the reactor ruined me, Steve! I thought I would never find someone with my mark on them! And this whole time you hid it under your stupid t-shirts and your suit and acted like it wasn’t even there. You never even mentioned it.” His voice cracked.

Steve felt wrecked. He’d only been hiding this stupid mark because he didn’t even know what it meant for him. He’d never even considered the possibility of being with a man, let alone the son of one of his friends! The whole time he’d been thinking about what hiding it would do for him, rather than what it would do to Tony.

“Listen,” He started, trying to find the right thing to say to calm the other man. “I didn’t know what to say to you. I’d just gotten out of the ice and I didn’t even know that this was a possibility and--”

“Cut the shit, Rogers. You may have been born 70 years ago, but I know for a fact you knew what it meant for guys to like guys.” Tony interrupted, glaring at Steve. “And to be quite honest, I don’t want an explanation at all.”

…..............................................

Tony’s mind was racing a mile a minute as he took in the sight before him. Sure, the lines weren’t raised, and the color was a bit faded, but there on Steve’s chest was his mark. He’d never expected to see it on anyone and then there it was on his teammate’s—his friend’s-- chest. Steve had to have known about it. He’d seen the old ads, he’d even teased Tony about a few. And still, he’d never thought to mention that they were supposed to be fucking soulmates.

“You were just going to let me live my life thinking I didn’t have anyone!” Tony roared, hoping Steve could understand how hurt he was. “I thought the reactor ruined me, Steve! I thought I would never find someone with my mark on them! And this whole time you hid it under your stupid t-shirts and your suit and acted like it wasn’t even there. You never even mentioned it.” His voice cracked at the end, revealing just how affected he really was by the whole thing. He wanted to curl up and cry, but he couldn’t when the other man was staring at him like that. He was too angry.

“Listen,” Steve tried, looking like a wild animal caught in a cage. Tony wanted to hear what explanation he could possibly have for doing this, but at the same time he knew better. Sitting around and listening to his soulmate explain how he just wasn’t quite good enough would break him.

“I didn’t know what to say to you. I’d just gotten out of the ice and I didn’t even know that this was a possibility and--” Steve continued on.

“Cut the shit, Rogers. You may have been born 70 years ago, but I know for a fact you knew what it meant for guys to like guys.” Tony interrupted, seething. If Steve didn’t want him, so be it. But at least give the real reason and not some bullshit excuse about not knowing what was going on.

“And to be quite honest, I don’t want an explanation at all.” He snapped, trying to sound angry instead of completely devastated. “Message received Rogers. Loud and clear. I’m not good enough for America’s hero and that is A-okay, buddy.”

Steve’s eyes were wet with unshed tears and Tony wanted so badly to say sorry and pull him closer. But how could he? How could he apologize when the only one who’d done anything wrong was Steve?

“Tony,”

“Just get out Steve.” He said instead, walking away from the other man. “I can’t even look at you right now.”

Steve nodded solemnly. “I understand. I really fucked things up.” He reached a hand up and swiped tears off of his cheeks, blushing when he noticed Tony glaring.

“I shouldn’t cry. This is on me. I just. I wish there was something I could do to show you that I’m so sor-”

“Yeah, well, for starters you could stay the hell away from me. I’m not your friend. I’m not your pal. I’m not even your acquaintance. And honestly, Rogers, I wish I wasn’t your god damn soulmate. Get out.”

Steve didn’t try to argue again. He simply nodded and left the lab, leaving Tony to his thoughts. Once the door had swung shut behind him, Tony spoke once more. “Remove Mr. Roger’s access to my floors, J. I don’t want to see him anywhere.”

“As you wish.” JARVIS complied. “Shall I contact Miss Potts?”

“No.” Tony croaked as his legs finally gave out and he slid to the floor, hot tears rolling down his cheeks. His own soulmate didn’t want him. It was never that he didn’t have a soulmate, he’d had one all along. It was that his soulmate found out who he was and decided they’d rather not be with him. What kind of cruel decision was that?

He never even got a chance to prove that he could do it. He could be a good soulmate. He would’ve done anything to make sure Steve knew that. He thought that as his friend, Steve would’ve been able to see that he wasn’t so bad after all. Wrong. Obviously.

\--

Tony didn’t leave his lab for days. He spent most of the time laying on the small couch and doing everything in his power to avoid thinking of Steve. He felt empty inside—completely drained of emotion. This whole time, his soulmate had been right there. He’d been so close, and Tony hadn’t even gotten a chance.

He was broken out of his thoughts by a tapping at the door. “Go away!” He shouted, feeling like a child who’d been caught having a tantrum in their room.

“Stark.” Natasha warned from the other side. He knew she would get in somehow, she always found ways around the rules.

Tony sighed loudly, hoping she would hear his exasperation and return to her quarters. No such luck. She remained planted outside the door. “Fine, fine. J, open the door for our guest.”

“Would you like a moment to compose yourself, sir?” JARVIS asked before allowing the door to open.

“Shit.” Tony groaned, scrubbing his hands over his face before trying to arrange his hair into something more presentable. “Let her in.”

The door opened and Natasha walked in slowly, glancing around at the weapons and other tech strewn across the tables and the floor. “Nice place...” She commented, not looking in Tony’s direction. He knew she was trying to make him feel more comfortable with the intrusion, but it was still weird having someone invade his lab like this.

“It’s a mess. But I finished your new knives the other day. Not too shabby, if I do say so myself.” He quipped, masking his pain with showmanship.

Something flicked across her face—understanding, maybe—before she spoke again. “I’d love to see them.” She said softly, approaching the inventor cautiously, as if he might crumble if she moved too quickly. Honestly, Tony felt like he might do just that.

She flipped the blades over in her hands when he thrust them at her, busying himself with a pile of various nuts and bolts.

“They’re very nice, Tony. So much lighter now.” She commented.

“I replaced the original materials with some lighter stuff. And the blades were reinforced too. I’m thinking about trying some new designs for you as well.” He gushed. Talking about weapons was so much easier than thinking about Steve. So much easier and so much less painful. Natasha seemed to understand because she didn’t push for answers, just walked around the lab, occasionally asking what things did.

After what felt like hours, she looked at Tony, face giving off no indication of what she knew or what she wanted to know. “What happened?”

“You know, I get the feeling you know damn well what happened.” Tony snapped, trying to shove his emotions away.

“He told me a few things—but I’m having a hard time understanding why you kicked him out.” She said.

“Something about lying for months and hiding the fact that he’s my soulmate might’ve had something to do with it.”

“So you told him to go back to DC?”

Tony froze. “What? No. I told him to get out of my lab. Jesus, why would you ask that?”

She sighed, pity flashing in her eyes. “He’s gone. Left a few nights ago, Tony. He said you thought it would be better this way.”

“Never said that.”

“Are you going to tell him to come back?”

Tony stopped for a moment. Why would he do that? If Steve couldn’t be bothered to stick around, then fine. So be it. He would be fine without him.

“No.”

“Tony...”

“What? What do you want me to say? That I'm going to forgive him for lying for months about what we were? That we can just go back to normal like our chests aren’t literally fucked up for each other?” He yelled.

“I want you to realize that he was scared, Tony. He didn’t know what he felt, and he didn’t want to wrap you up in anything confusing and complicated when he didn’t have to. Yes, I agree that what he did was selfish. Beyond that, it was cruel. But that was never his intention and you know that.” Natasha said calmly, never breaking eye contact.

“I’m not going to DC to get him.”

“I didn’t ask you to. I just think you should consider talking to him.”

“I can’t be in a relationship with someone who can’t be honest with me.” Tony sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.

“I didn’t ask you to do that either. But think you owe it to each other to try to talk. If not for him, do it for the team. We’re nothing without you two.”

“I can’t--” He paused, fighting back the tears from his voice. “I can’t look at him without remembering that I wasn’t good enough.”

Natasha didn’t speak, she just pulled him into a hug, something neither of them did. And despite everything, it was nice.

When she pulled back, she held his face in her hands, staring into his eyes for a moment before speaking. “You, Tony Stark, are beyond good enough. If you don’t want Steve to come back that’s fine. I’ll tell him to stay away. If you want to try, even for an hour, I can tell him to get here. I know what it’s like for your soulmate to break you. But every day, every single day, I wake up wishing we could try again. I won’t let you face the same fate.”

“What if I hate him?”

“You don’t”

“What if he hates me?”

“He doesn’t”

“Is he sorry?”

She smiled wryly at him, “You’ll have to ask him that yourself.”

…..............................................

Steve awoke to pounding on the door of his tiny apartment. He’d left the tower a few days ago, unable to watch as Tony wasted away. It was all his fault and he couldn’t fix it no matter how hard he tried. He lied, and he lost Tony because of it.

The pounding didn’t quit. It rang through his apartment as he tried to ignore it. It was probably Sam again, he’d been coming to check in every day now, forcing Steve to eat and shower and leave his room at least once a day.

“Open this door now, Steve Rogers!” Natasha spoke from the hallway.

Shit. If Natasha was here it meant Tony knew he was gone. She’d threatened to tell him, but he didn’t think she actually would. He didn’t deserve forgiveness and he knew Tony wouldn’t be quick to offer it, which meant she was here to tell him to stay away.

His heart sank, but he couldn’t dwell on it for long before the door was flung open. “Get up.” Natasha snapped, moving to his closet and flinging clothing at him.

“What’s going on?” He asked as she walked out of the room.

Without stopping she answered, “He wants to see you. Get up.”

He remained in bed, staring at the space she had just occupied. “Wait, Tony? He wants to see me?”

“Yes. Get dressed. I told him you’d be back within the hour.”

Steve frowned. “We won’t make it. It’s just too far.”

“I brought a jet.”

Steve felt his face split into a smile. He was going back. He had a chance to apologize. He had a chance to make things right with Tony—his soulmate.

\--

When Steve stepped into the tower, things felt so off. It used to be his home and now it was a place filled with so much pain. So much pain, and he was the cause of all of it. His heart sank. As he stood glumly, waiting for instruction on where to go, the elevator chimed.

As the doors slid open, Steve could see Tony. He was wearing sweats and an old t-shirt. He looked absolutely wrecked. Destroyed, even. Steve wanted nothing more than to sink into the floor. He caused the broken look in Tony’s eyes and the tremor in his hands.

“Rogers.” Tony said, stepping out of the elevator.

“Tony.” He didn’t know what else to say. There wasn’t a good place to start.

“Well, I’d love to say it’s good to have you back, but it’s really not.”

Steve frowned, of course it wasn’t. He shouldn’t even be here. “I should go. This was stupid.” He said, trying to turn and retreat through the nearest exit.

“Wait.” Tony said, unmoving from his position by the elevator. “We should talk. Don’t worry, I’ll start since we know one of us struggles with honesty.” His voice was scathing, cutting Steve right to his core. He was so stupid.

“Okay.” He agreed, turning to face Tony again.

“If it wasn’t for the team, I wouldn’t have ever called you here. But teams have to be united, that’s just how it works. So, I’m asking you to come back. If you have a problem with me, you don’t have to see me. I avoid the main floors for the most part.” Tony began, voice devoid of any emotion.

“Tony, that’s not what I want at all. I want to see you. I love seeing you.” Steve argued.

“Moving on, your access to my areas in this tower have been limited. If you need me, J is more than happy to act as a messenger.”

Steve opened his mouth to argue again but was silenced as Tony raised a hand in his direction. The least he could do was let Tony speak.

“You’re my teammate. We have to act that way when we are on the battlefield and when we are in the public eye. But beyond that, I do not want to see you or speak to you. I think it would be best this way. That way, the bond will fade out a little more.” Tony continued.

“Don’t speak yet, Rogers. I want you to know that I forgive you. I do. I understand why you would try to hide the mark. I’m a tough guy to love. It’s not the first time I’ve gotten that kind of response. And lucky for you, you’re off the hook.”

“Tony, no! Please let me explain.” Steve begged, feeling tears well in his eyes as his soulmate dismissed him. “It was a mistake! I never should have acted the way I did! It was wrong. I was wrong. I’m so disgusted with myself and I want nothing more than to apolog--”

“I don’t care. Steve.” This time, it was Tony who began to walk away. Retreating to the elevators, back to his lab, no doubt.

Steve launched forward, hand closing over one of Tony’s arms. He felt so much smaller than before, Steve’s heart broke a little more and the lines on his chest absolutely throbbed. “Tony, please!” He begged.

Tony wrenched his arm from Steve’s grasp, finally showing a bit of emotion as he turned to face the larger man. “Last rule, do not ever touch me again.” And with that, he was on the elevator, doors sliding shut as Steve crumpled to his knees.

…..............................................

As the doors slid shut, hiding a broken Captain behind them, Tony’s hands began to shake. He’d done the one thing he’d thought he’d never do—reject his soulmate. But he had no choice. His mark, what was left of it at least, was burning. Tony raised a shaking hand, snaking it under his shirt to trace the raised lines. Everything hurt.

“J?” He panted, tearing at his shirt. “Take me to my room. I think I should rest.”

\--

Tony’s little “rest” lasted for weeks. He felt like he was drowning constantly, unable to stay above the rising tides of his own sadness. Pepper visited as often as possible, making sure he was at least semi-functional. Tony didn’t speak most days, but he hoped she knew how truly grateful he was.

After the first three weeks, Pepper had called a doctor and a psychologist to the tower to examine Tony. He barely had the heart to answer their questions, remaining curled in his sheets. After the exam, Pepper had led them outside the room, far enough for them to speak freely but close enough for Tony to hear. She knew he hated secrets, and after the last secret that was kept from him, he had begged her to make sure he knew what was going on.

“So, what is it? Is the reactor leaking or something?” She inquired.

Tony heard one of the doctors sigh, psychologist, maybe? “Miss Potts there’s no illness.”

“How do I fix this?”

“You can’t.” The other man said solemnly. Tony heard Pepper gasp softly. Had his heart not been burning, it would’ve broken for his best friend.

“I can’t lose him. There has to be a way for me to help him! We can work through this.” She argued.

“I’m sorry, Miss Potts.” The psychologist spoke again.

“I’ll do anything.”

“Soul marks aren’t made to be rejected, ma’am.” He responded. This time, Tony couldn’t hear Pepper arguing. She was crying, audible sobs ringing through the rooms on his floor of the tower. Tony wished he could argue with the doctors in that moment, but he was just too exhausted. He wanted to tell them that he had no choice, Steve didn’t want him and their marks were a waste of time.

“So, you’re telling me that my best friend is going to be a shell of himself forever?” Pepper asked. Tony didn't want that at all. He wanted to build and go to galas and tease Pepper. He felt a tear slip down his cheek, wishing his body would allow him to participate in his own life.

“I wish there was more we could do for Mr. Stark, but there are some things that even science can’t heal.” The doctor said. His voice sounded further away, as if they were leaving already.

“I see. Thank you for your time.” Pepper responded coldly. Tony knew she was upset, and he knew it was fault. What was he to do? He’d let Steve down by being himself and now he was letting Pepper down too.

Tony heard Pepper shut the door and begin moving about the kitchen. If her sniffles were any indication, she was still crying. He knew she wouldn’t return to check on him until she was composed. He felt awful. And tired. So tired.

\---

When Tony awoke from his nap, he noticed a new voice outside his door. “get your ass in there and fix this. I don’t care who said what and I don’t care why.” Pepper said, taking on a business tone that was reserved for board meetings. Tony wanted to laugh.

“I don’t know what you want me to say to him, Miss Potts. He made things awfully clear last time we talked.” Came a reply from Steve. He sounded somber. Good, Tony thought, he should be sad. Tony tried to uncurl from his position when someone entered the room again. It was humiliating to be rendered practically useless in front of anyone, but especially Pepper. She was so strong. And Tony felt so weak.

“Tony, honey, I'm sure you know who’s here.” She said, stroking a hand through his hair.

“Yeah I know.” Tony mumbled. Once again hating himself for sounding so weak. “You can send him on his way, though. We don’t have anything to discuss.”

“Stop that. You two are going to work things out.” She replied, stern this time.

“How?”

“Talk to him.” She said. “He seems really sorry. If it was all a misunderstanding, we have a chance to fix it.”

“Can’t.”

“Please” Her voice broke and she moved away from the bed again. “The both of you are wrecked. It’s bad for the team and it’s bad for SI.”

Tony didn’t know what to say. He was breaking her heart and he was ruining the team but what else was he to do? Steve made it very clear that he was not interested by hiding his mark for months.

…..............................................

At the sight of the great Tony Stark curled up in his giant bed, Steve’s heart broke. He truly was the worst man on Earth. They should’ve just left him in the ice.

“This is all my fault.” Steve whispered, pressing his hands to his eyes. All he was trying to do was protect Tony, not kill him.

“It is. But I’m giving you the chance to fix it. I’ll be back in 10.” Pepper said sharply before moving to exit the room. “Pull it together Rogers.” She snapped, reaching past him to open the door.

Once they were alone, Steve sunk into the chair that was next to Tony’s bedside. He let out a sigh and rested his head in his hands. He didn’t even know where to begin anymore, Tony was done with him and he didn’t know how to change his mind.

“Why are you here, Steve?” Tony grumbled from under his blankets.

“I needed to talk to you. Er, well, tell you something.”

Tony didn’t respond to that, just returned to sleeping, or whatever he’d been doing before Steve’s arrival. Steve wiped his hands on his pants and looked around. He’d never felt more out of place and yet, he felt lighter somehow, just seeing the inventor was working wonders for his broken heart. The wet-blanket feeling that had settled around him had loosened just the slightest bit as soon as he’d heard Tony’s voice. He brought a hand to his chest as if he would feel a change. He didn’t.

“Alright, speak up and then get out.” Tony said, sitting up and looking at Steve.

“I’m the worst man in America. Maybe even the entire world. I took you for granted and I mislead you for months and I'm so sorry. I don’t know why I was so scared, you would’ve been the best soulmate. You’re intuitive and brilliant and so fucking funny. I’m sorry I wasted your time and I’m so beyond sorry for not telling you.”

“Oh.” Tony responded, sounding a bit dejected. Steve wanted nothing more than to cradle him in his arms and promise to stay forever. His entire being was screaming to touch the other man. But he couldn’t, it wasn’t his place. It never was.

“I really am sorry Tony. I’m the luckiest man on Earth to have you as my soulmate.” Steve said again, thinking it may be best to walk out of the room.

“Wait,” Tony said, climbing out of his bed and walking towards Steve. When Steve caught sight of Tony, his heart sank. He had obviously lost weight, and his face was pale and gaunt. “What if I told you that I forgive you.”

Steve felt a flicker of hope ignite in his heart. His mark was pulsating under his skin as Tony took another step towards him, one hand on the bed for support.

…..............................................

Tony’s legs shook wildly as he approached the man in his doorway. Before this, he had been so so angry with Steve. He’d wanted nothing to do with the big, broken man. But he was beginning to think that Steve might not actually hate him and that he might actually be sorry.

Steve didn’t say anything, just looked at Tony with sad eyes. “Answer me, Steve.” All he wanted was for Steve to say that he would stay. That this was all one big mistake and he would accept forgiveness and he wanted Tony to be his soulmate after all.

“Is this a joke? Because if it is I don’t think it’s funny.” Steve said, voice breaking. “I know what I did was far worse, but please don’t play with me right now, Tony.”

“I want to know, Steve. I’m not asking for anything else, I’m just asking if you’ll let me forgive you so we can move on.” Tony replied softly. He could see the effect the past weeks had on Steve now that he was up close. It looked like he hadn’t slept in days and his eyes were red and swollen, as if he’d been crying. The sight broke Tony’s already shattered heart.

“I’d do anything you asked of me.”

Fuck. He wasn’t expecting Steve to sound so sure of himself. But there he was, telling Tony that he would do whatever he wanted.

“Then stay.” Tony said, reaching out to touch Steve’s arm. As soon as he made contact his mark came alive. He felt more alive than he had since their kiss in the lab months earlier. “I can’t say that I’m over everything, Steve. I can’t say that I’ll get over it tomorrow or the day after. But I’m willing to try if you’ll let me.”

Steve nodded aggressively, making Tony smile just a little. He could watch this man for years. For a moment, they just stared at each other, neither man breaking the silence that had settled around them.

“Can I touch you?” Steve asked quietly, bringing one hand up to Tony’s face. He nodded and Steve’s hand came closer, cradling his cheek. Tony leaned into the touch, closing his eyes.

Without opening his eyes or breaking out of Steve’s gentle grasp, he voiced the concern that was weighing heavily on his mind. “Are you sure you want me? I know I'm not all that. I’m annoying, and obsessive, and I don’t take care of myself. Maybe you were right to keep this from me.”

Steve lifted Tony’s face until he opened his eyes to look into Steve’s eyes. They were so blue. A tear rolled down Steve’s cheek, breaking Tony’s heart. They had just started to fixed things and he’d already made Steve cry again.

“I have never wanted anything as much as I want you, Tony Stark. I want your crazy and your obsessive and your egotistical and your sleep deprived and whatever else you’ll give me. I just want you. And I'm so sorry for not telling you that you’re the only one for me.” Steve said, giving Tony a little smile.

Tony pulled Steve into a hug, wrapping his arms around him and burying himself in Steve’s broad chest. “Then I’m all yours, Rogers.”

“And I’m all yours.”

After weeks of tears and pain and sadness, Tony finally felt whole. He’d finally gotten his soulmate, the one he’d been waiting for his entire life. Sure, he was nervous that Steve might change his mind, but in that moment, nothing mattered more than being wrapped up in his soulmate.

**Author's Note:**

> There you go! Let me know what you think :)


End file.
